Parent Resources:
Busy? Make the most of your time by continuing the conversation about the topics that start in Rock Brook for Kids. Find the big ideas RBfK has covered in class and ask your child some probing questions. Take a quick look to find a related idea for this month with "Continue the Conversation".
Find parent tips, advice, and activities on the Parent Cue App. You'll find great information that covers toddlers to teenagers! This faith based app can be found at your device's app store.
|
|
Building Your Life on Values that Last (for helping our children)
|
Accept Responsibility - “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given.” Luke 19:26 (NLT)
|
It all starts with responsibility (pg. 38). As children learn to accept responsibility for their choices, they build their character. Children live in a “me” world. Learning to see outside of themselves and to have a servant’s heart along with empathy takes repeated practice and vigilance by adults. Adults need to model and design age-appropriate tasks that help children have success being responsible.
In reference to the section starting on page 50, “Four Ways to be More Responsible”, children struggle with controlling their reactions (pg. 54) and admitting mistakes (pg. 62). Which translates into two other values: self-control (pg. 82) and honesty (pg. 168). When children are young it’s up to adults to help them guard their mind (pg. 60) by setting limits on outside influences. Think about the music, video games, TV shows, and even friends that influence children. Saving money (pg. 50) starts with parents’ influence too. How adults talk about money in front of children also has an influence. Do kids see parents talk about tithing, paying bills, and saving for a purchase?
In reference to the section starting on page 50, “Four Ways to be More Responsible”, children struggle with controlling their reactions (pg. 54) and admitting mistakes (pg. 62). Which translates into two other values: self-control (pg. 82) and honesty (pg. 168). When children are young it’s up to adults to help them guard their mind (pg. 60) by setting limits on outside influences. Think about the music, video games, TV shows, and even friends that influence children. Saving money (pg. 50) starts with parents’ influence too. How adults talk about money in front of children also has an influence. Do kids see parents talk about tithing, paying bills, and saving for a purchase?
Use the book of Proverbs to have a family discussion. You may need to pick and choose some of the topics. For example: “The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets.” (Proverbs 21:20 TLB) What a great conversation starter about saving money!
Heavenly Father, help me to take responsibility for my words and actions, also help me admit when I’ve done something wrong. I want to be accountable and not blame others. Fill my heart so I can understand others. Thank you for the love and grace you give me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
|
Develop Trust - “But my trust is in you, O Lord; you are my God.” Psalm 31:14 (GNT)
|
For children, there are two areas they need to develop trust. Who do they need to trust (pg. 66) and how do they become trustworthy [Because God is trustworthy (pg. 76) we need to be trustworthy too.]? The first step is to trust God. In RBfK we discuss putting your trust in Jesus. We then talk about trusting what God and Jesus tell us in the bible. His word is Truth and the bible is full of His promises.
The second idea of trust is becoming trustworthy. When we apply the values that we are studying: honesty, fairness, love, etc., we become trustworthy people.
The second idea of trust is becoming trustworthy. When we apply the values that we are studying: honesty, fairness, love, etc., we become trustworthy people.
Have a conversation with children about becoming trustworthy. One way to become trustworthy is to have a responsibility and carry it out. Is there a chore that fits the child’s age?
Dear God, I want to get to know you better so I can trust you more. I know you love me and you have a plan for me. Let me trust that you are always with me and learn to be trustworthy from your lessons in the bible. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
|
Demonstrate Self-Control - “Create in me a clean heart, O God.” Psalm 51:10 (NLT)
|
For children, there are two areas they need to develop trust. Who do they need to trust (pg. 66) and how do they become trustworthy [Because God is trustworthy (pg. 76) we need to be trustworthy too.]? The first step is to trust God. In RBfK we discuss putting your trust in Jesus. We then talk about trusting what God and Jesus tell us in the bible. His word is Truth and the bible is full of His promises.
The second idea of trust is becoming trustworthy. When we apply the values that we are studying:
honesty, fairness, love, etc., we become trustworthy people.
The second idea of trust is becoming trustworthy. When we apply the values that we are studying:
honesty, fairness, love, etc., we become trustworthy people.
Have a conversation with children about becoming trustworthy. One way to become trustworthy is to have a responsibility and carry it out. Is there a chore that fits the child’s age?
Dear God, I want to get to know you better so I can trust you more. I know you love me and you have a plan for me. Let me trust that you are always with me and learn to be trustworthy from your lessons in the bible. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
|
Live a Balanced Life - “My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:15 (NIV) |
Most people struggle with self-control. It’s often a lifelong issue that has to be handed over to God every day. We can be destroyed by lack of control by over-eating, over-spending, over-using social media, and more. (pg. 82) Learning control at an early age can prevent a lot of pain.
Besides controlling what we consume, everyone needs to learn how to control their reactions to other people. In the school system, teachers often work with students to have control when they are feeling _______ [add any overwhelming feeling: excited, angry (pg. 84), frustrated, embarrassed, etc.] God is the answer in all of these situations.
Besides controlling what we consume, everyone needs to learn how to control their reactions to other people. In the school system, teachers often work with students to have control when they are feeling _______ [add any overwhelming feeling: excited, angry (pg. 84), frustrated, embarrassed, etc.] God is the answer in all of these situations.
First, look at the example of self-control the children in your family are seeing. Talk about situations where the adult showed control or lack of. Then ask the children when it’s hardest for them to keep control. If they can’t identify when, then discuss the signals for losing control: shouting, saying mean things, hitting someone, etc. Help kids identify a lack of control. When you see it happening, use a gentle voice and ask “Are you in control of yourself?”. Teach them to stop and pray for God’s peace.
The chapter on self-control if full of strategies (pg. 84-94) to help older children practice self-control.
The chapter on self-control if full of strategies (pg. 84-94) to help older children practice self-control.
Great Creator, I want to learn self-control. I want to know when I’m about to lose control and to feel your presence of control. I am sorry for the times I lost control with my words or actions. I know that I can improve with your help. Thank you for helping me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
|
Show Respect -God paid a ransom to save you... He paid for you with the precious life-blood of Christ.
|
“Show proper respect to everyone.” (1 Peter 2:17 NIV). That seems to be hard for our society (pg. 112). The bible comes out and tells us to honor our parents (Ephesians 6) and to respect anyone in authority (Romans 13:1-7). It does not say to respect these people when they’ve earned our respect. That’s where many people are stuck right now.
Children see to whom their parents show respect. It’s often tiny, subtle situations. How did the adult treat the car that cut them off? Or the chatty lady in the grocery store line? How does the adult talk about the teacher or the coach in front of the child? God made everyone, and Jesus died for everyone (pg. 114) so even when others are making bad choices, we all can find a way to be respectful because God loves everyone.
Children see to whom their parents show respect. It’s often tiny, subtle situations. How did the adult treat the car that cut them off? Or the chatty lady in the grocery store line? How does the adult talk about the teacher or the coach in front of the child? God made everyone, and Jesus died for everyone (pg. 114) so even when others are making bad choices, we all can find a way to be respectful because God loves everyone.
Adults often start the process of teaching respect by teaching toddlers to say “please” and “thank you”. The toddler repeats the words and doesn’t understand yet, but they will if respect is modeled and taught. Use the section “Five Ways to Show Respect” (pg. 116-122) to help kids understand that there are many ways to show respect. You may need to target them at different times. For example: when the family is going out to dinner, discuss the section “Be Understanding, not Demanding, of Those Who are Serving You” (pg. 117).
Dear Jesus, help me to love my family and friends in a respectful way. Remind me when I’m with others that you love all of us and everyone should get respect. I want to be kind with my words and understanding with my reactions even when others aren’t. Let your love show through me so I can treat others the way you would treat them. In Your name we pray, Amen.
|
Offer Forgiveness - “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31 (NIV) |
Forgiving is hard. It is not forgetting what has happened, especially for kids. Even when people don’t feel like forgiving, God says to forgive so we can live the way God wants us to live (pg. 124) Our greatest thought on forgiveness must come from the idea that you will never have to forgive anybody more than God has already forgiven you (pg. 126). That’s especially hard for kids to understand. The world is bombarded with examples of getting even and holding a grudge. The world’s ways are not God’s ways. “Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it.” (Romans 12:19 TLB)
Most people teach their children to say “please” and “thank-you”. Do they teach their children to look someone in the eye and say, “I forgive you”? Adults must help kids to realize the words come first, then the prayer of support to Jesus, and then praying again and again until forgiveness has set in. Helping kids to see that forgiving, doesn’t mean “I trust you”. It means you’ve put it into God’s hands (pg. 134).
Have a conversation with your child about how to say someone is forgiven. Sometimes they will need to be face-to-face with someone. And others times, it’s better to say someone is forgiven without confronting them (pg. 137) (often kids hold a grudge against someone that doesn’t even know they hurt them). Another big idea… (drum roll) do the adults in the home apologize and offer forgiveness to the children in the home?
Have a conversation with your child about how to say someone is forgiven. Sometimes they will need to be face-to-face with someone. And others times, it’s better to say someone is forgiven without confronting them (pg. 137) (often kids hold a grudge against someone that doesn’t even know they hurt them). Another big idea… (drum roll) do the adults in the home apologize and offer forgiveness to the children in the home?
Heavenly Father, You have forgiven all of my sins. Help me to forgive the people that have hurt or offended me. I want your peace in my life. Guide me toward those I need to forgive now and in the future. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
|
Maintain Moral Purity - “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NCV) |
Looking at moral purity in relation to children has a different focus than moral purity for adults. Our reference book, “Building Your Life on Values that Last”, pgs. 140-153 takes a look at sexual purity. For kids under 12 years of age, moral purity can be built on insulating oneself with God (pg. 140). Adults should take the responsibility to insulate kids from the harsh world by monitoring their media (pg. 147), friends, and experiences. But children can take responsibility for what they say and do (what type of language do they use or what type of clothing do, they wear in public) when they are given biblical guidelines and examples.
Sit down this week to discuss and establish expectations for your family regarding: using foul or inappropriate language, what types of jokes are OK, what clothing is OK to wear (many people avoid the word modest, but it’s a great one to apply here) in public, what tv shows or movies are OK to watch, etc. Talk to kids about what to do when… they click on an internet link that takes them someplace that’s inappropriate, friends want them to watch a certain movie parents would not approve, they hear a joke or comment with a dirty word, etc.
It’s awfully hard to go back and put insulation in the walls after the house is already built. If we’re building our lives on values that last, put the insulation in when the house is being built. It’s easier to build habits in your kids now, than when they are navigating places on their own.
It’s awfully hard to go back and put insulation in the walls after the house is already built. If we’re building our lives on values that last, put the insulation in when the house is being built. It’s easier to build habits in your kids now, than when they are navigating places on their own.
Jesus, help me to protect myself from the world by giving me the will to say appropriate things, dress in a modest way, and turn away from inappropriate situations. I want to know Your goodness. Give me the strength to talk to my parents if I don’t understand something or need help being pure. I want to be a part of your purity. Thank you for giving us the chance to know you. In Your name, Amen.
|
Show Fairness - “Love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you.” Matthew 5:44 (NCV) |
Children are highly concerned about what’s fair when it comes to the world’s standards. The first hurdle is for them to understand that fair doesn’t mean equal. Fair is getting our needs met in the way that is best for us. The second hurdle is to realize that this current world and time is not fair. That’s why we need Jesus (pg. 154).
God will settle the issue of injustice (fairness) one day (pg. 156). There will be a judgement. We get choose which side of that judgement we are going to stand on: with Jesus or away from Jesus. How we handle the unfair events of life builds our character (pg. 157). Showing children how to help those in unjust situations will help them: donate to a homeless shelter, adopt a family for Christmas, help the single mom in the neighborhood, etc.
God will settle the issue of injustice (fairness) one day (pg. 156). There will be a judgement. We get choose which side of that judgement we are going to stand on: with Jesus or away from Jesus. How we handle the unfair events of life builds our character (pg. 157). Showing children how to help those in unjust situations will help them: donate to a homeless shelter, adopt a family for Christmas, help the single mom in the neighborhood, etc.
“Love your enemies. Pray for those that hurt you.” (Matthew 5:44 NCV) is a hard verse for children to understand. Try having a family time where you ask kids who has hurt/offended them, ask kids to offer forgiveness and then pray for those that hurt them (pg. 163).
Participate, with your children, in serving others. Talk about how it’s not going to be equal, they won’t get anything in return, except knowing they are following God’s commands to love your neighbor.
Participate, with your children, in serving others. Talk about how it’s not going to be equal, they won’t get anything in return, except knowing they are following God’s commands to love your neighbor.
Lord, we see that this world is not fair. Help us to accept life with peace when we feel we’ve been treated unfairly. Help me to treat others with fairness and to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. I thank you for your love and your promise that someday, we will all be together in your world. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
|
Demonstrate Honesty - “In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.” Proverbs 28:23 (TLB) |
Children lie. All of them, except Jesus. Most often the lie from a child is to protect himself from a consequence. Our book calls that the “cowardly” lie (pg. 172). The other four types of lies creep into a child’s life as they experience different situations. Once a child gets away with a lie, it can be reinforced to lie again. Adults often struggle to hold kids accountable when they do lie. Adults will even call it something else: a partial truth, an excuse, an exaggeration, etc. But it’s still a lie. As it says on page 169, how many lies does it take to be a liar. Only one. We can’t let kids stay stuck there.
Even as adults, our honesty or lack of can be seen in our actions. Besides the words of a lie, we might “fudge” on our taxes, cheat in a game, or exceed the speed limit and deny we knew we were doing it. What adults do in front of children makes a difference. They are watching and absorbing our behaviors all the time. “Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your word will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29 NLT (pg. 175). Admitting to ourselves is the first step, the next is admitting to God and asking for his help to be honest. When catching a child in a lie, lovingly hold them accountable. Admit. Repent. Ask God to lead them in the truth.
Great Creator, we admit that we are not always honest. Forgive me for the lies I’ve told and the times I’ve been dishonest. Help me speak honestly and lovingly. Help me to create a habit of truth. We ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.
|
Act with Love - “We know and rely on the love God has for us.” 1 John 4:16 (NIV) |
Nothing is more important than loving God and loving others (pg. 180) “’Love the Lord your God with all our heart and with all your soul and with all our mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39).
The first love a child experiences is his parent’s love for him. He sees how the parent talks, acts, and responds in love. Helping children understand that God wants us to love everyone is hard because not everyone is loveable in our eyes. But we need to help children understand that God loves everyone! For us, showing love is a commitment and an action for who we interact with and how we treat them.
The first love a child experiences is his parent’s love for him. He sees how the parent talks, acts, and responds in love. Helping children understand that God wants us to love everyone is hard because not everyone is loveable in our eyes. But we need to help children understand that God loves everyone! For us, showing love is a commitment and an action for who we interact with and how we treat them.
Begin talking about love being an action in your home. We pitch in and do chores because it helps the family and we love each other. We say encouraging words because we love each other. We support each other like when we hold the puke bucket for our kids. It’s because we love them. Help kids equate what God did for us with how we treat others.
Time. Who we spend our time with, and what we do with our time says the most about us. Design activities that demonstrate love. Think of simple things like playing dolls with the little sister. Washing the dishes so Mom can take a break. Talk about how those acts of kindness say, “you are loved”.
Time. Who we spend our time with, and what we do with our time says the most about us. Design activities that demonstrate love. Think of simple things like playing dolls with the little sister. Washing the dishes so Mom can take a break. Talk about how those acts of kindness say, “you are loved”.
Dear Father, Thank you for loving us, each of us, even when we are not perfect. We want to grow in your ways to demonstrate our love for you. We want to show love to those around us. Show us how to step out and love others. Thank you for the grace you have shown us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
